You don't need to travel to remote locations to experience all the inconveniences of not being at home, here's five easy steps to get you started: Scatter small sharp objects onto floor. Pitch tent over them Poke a medium-sized hole in screen door. Position a bright light next to door...
The rules of knock knock jokes
Knock-knock jokes have been around since the first dad noticed the first door.There are just 3 rules, and they’re very simple: You have to say knock-knock. The person at the door is not who you expect. You have to start telling your kids these jokes when they find it to...
Ten easy ways to be offensive at a wedding
Show up with a baby and claim that the baby belongs to the newlyweds. Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of catching the bouquet. Tell people that you knew the bride before the sex change operation. Tell the bride that the only reason you can look at her...
The World's Unhealthiest Cookbooks
Why choke down bland, mushy steamed veggies and brown rice when there's so much fat-laden, calorie-rich, heart-bursting cuisine out there to be savored? Because you want to live? So you can spend your golden years wandering aimlessly around a Florida shopping mall and eating dinner at 2 in the afternoon?
Practice your putting while on the potty!
Novelty putter game set for the toilet, available from Amazon!
Cat crapped coffee and monkey picked tea?
Oolong tea is known as "monkey picked" tea. Originating from the Fujian province of China.Legend has it that monks trained monkeys to climb the tea trees and reach the choicest leaves thus ensuring the finest quality.They probably disbanded the practice after monkeys decided to unionize. Never pick a fight with...
Chainsaw Versus Trees
Paddy got a job as a tree cutter and went eagerly to work on his first day. He was given a chainsaw and told he must cut down twenty trees to earn his wages. He returned in the evening tired out.‘How many did you cut today Paddy?’‘Five.’‘Sorry, no wages today.’The...
Warning Labels For Idiots
Warning labels that unnecessarily state the obvious, are unfortunately necessary in today's society where we must assume that most people are total idiots.Here's some that have been seen by our readers. If you have any, post in the comments... ⚠️ On a cardboard windshield sun shade: “Warning: Do Not Drive...
How To Recognize a Company Car
🚗 They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.🚗 They accelerate at a phenomenal rate. 🚗 They enjoy a much shorter braking distance. 🚗 They can take bumps at twice the speed on private cars. 🚗 Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly...
All Expenses Paid
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare...
The Best and Worst Halloween Themed Dad Jokes
It feels that Halloween snuck up on us faster than a witch on a turbo-boosted broomstick!We can all agree that the best part of Halloween is the costumes and the candy. But the scariest part must be the terrifyingly corny and silly Halloween themed dad jokes that the kids are...
Like LOVE, LEGO is a four letter word
Glen, from the Premium Dad Jokes Team, ventured forth onto Tinder, to try his luck with the ladies.This was his first attempt: "Looking for a married woman, recently cheated on, mad and scorned, who is willing to sell her husbands LEGO collection for cheap."The reactions were positive. Plenty of women...
